written 4-7-18
Wow!
It's been a while since I"ve blogged... Crazy fun times around here! :)
We had a BIG EVENT for our church Friday night. It was awesome!!! All about where we are and what we need to finance our new church building we are building! We were to take a card and pray about a number and donate for the building fund. It was a FANTASTIC awesome night to say the least!!!
Curt and I have been praying about a number that God wants us to give. We both feel a number, we can't afford. haha... We really can't afford anything because we still have 2 adoption credit card bills we are paying off. God has blessed us and given us what we need each month. But we want to give, and adding it up and looking at our budget and writing it all out, it's not there. Nothing is there! But that's the way it was with adoption! We took that step of faith!
So that was Friday... Saturday morning went to kettle bell class and I died... I honestly haven't worked out for a week and half. I just couldn't. I wasn't sleeping at nights, and during the afternoon when kids were in "quiet time", I had no energy to even think about working out, or was so busy catching up with things. Got home and then we got the mail. Surprise! A bill. For Ella. For when we went and her new CI mapped and turned on. We both are like, eh, but ok, we are ok, this is fine....
Saturday afternoon, I got dinner in the oven (Oh, I should mention that I decided after much prayer to do a fast for 2 days and then slowly add certain foods back, so I'm still drinking water at this point... no breakfast, no food in my stomach all day, nothing.)... sat on the couch and Skylar came in screaming and crying. I got her calmed down, but before that she said she broke her arm. I held her arm and took one look and my stomach dropped. There was heat radiating from her wrist and it just looked ugly. Bad.... Very bad.... Curt woke up from his nap to her crying and was a little bit disoriented... He said calm down Skylar, it's not broken... I looked at him and just knew it was. I mouthed, it's bad, its broken. She started crying again, and then Curt got a good look at her wrist and said, oh yeah, she needs to go in. I said, ok, I'll take her, your dinner will be done at 5:20. I had Kotah grab my bed pillow and my shoes and off we went. Thankfully Civista (I know, it's called something else now, but I still call it Civista! ;)) was quick this time! We waited a little bit, but went right to a room in the ER and got X-rays pretty quickly. The first nurse in ER was ok, but the second one was awesome! Then the ER doc said she was calling the ortho doc to come in. He came in and the first words out of his mouth were, I'm sorry, I was pumping gas when I got the call and I spilled some gas on me, so I'm very sorry for smelling like gas. Then he said, honestly I don't remember everything he said, but to sum it up, we can do surgery, but can't do it tonight, because it isn't an emergency surgery, I can't call a team in at 11 at night... I would snap her wrist into place, and then put a pin in there to hold it. Put a cast on it for 4 weeks and then take the pin out. Taking pins out is easy and am told that most people prefer to have a pin out than stitches or staples. We do it right in the office. OR I could inject a numbing gel and then pop it back into place and put it in a splint. But there is a 20% chance that it could pop back out of place, and I would have to do surgery to re-break it and then put the pins in. So I said I need to call my hubs and he said absolutely.. He left the room and I called Curt. We both thought and felt at peace to do the surgery. But that meant being admitted and doing it first thing in the morning. He came back in and told him we will do surgery. He looked very relieved. He said I don't know if I should say this or not, but I'm very uneasy about popping it back into place while they are awake. I always go home wondering if I did the right thing, and how much they will remember, how bad did it hurt them... I said well, it just shows you really care for you patients and I really appreciate your honesty. He left and another nurse came in to give her an iv... Thankfully she had a vein that was showing and got it in one poke and didn't have to dig around. Her ER nurse stayed and he kept talking to her and showing her his scars from broken bones, even where he broke his wrist too. I prayed with her during it and she was great! She cried and shed a few tears, but it didn't last long at all! ER nurse wheeled her up to her room and gave her a sucker. She was pretty excited about that! She was hungry!!!! ;) The nurses up there that night were awesome as well! They kept saying how great she's doing and everything! Oh, after the ortho doc left, the ER nurse and another one came in a put her wrist in a splint. After that she was feeling a little more comfy. They also gave her some Motrin. Curt got a friend to stay with the kids so he could come give us a few things and some supper for Skylar. He also brought 2 bananas, and I ate one. I broke my fast, I needed some food. ;)
She was in some more pain so they gave her the good tylenol with codeine in it. She slept from 11 to 4 when they came in to get vitals. They also got her at 7:40 for surgery and was in OR by 8 am. The anesthesiologist was very nice and awesome too! He told her he broke his face by riding his bike, crashed! Skylar looked over at me and said, OUCH mom. He came out after she was out and said she did fantastic! She didn't flip out in OR, she was very calm and cool. The Ortho Doc said she was very heroic. He's never seen a kid so cool and calm. I said many people were and are praying for her, and she is pretty tough and brave! He popped her wrist back into place and put 2 pins in there to help it. She has a white cast with a cut on the top and bottom. He does that to help with swelling. He always did it and then no one complained of swelling so he stopped, up til a week ago when he had a boy that swelled and he had to re-do it all. So... he decided to do it again. Then there is a white ACE bandage over it all.
Back up to her room then for a bit more recovery. Done in the recovery room she had I think 3 doses of morphine. She was extra groggy and doesn't remember it. The one thing she said to me once she saw me walk into the room, she said, you were right mom, I didn't feel a thing! I said yep, I glad you didn't! Then she was out again! All the OR nurses were awesome as well! They kept saying how awesome and brave and cute and adorable she is.
Curt and the kids stopped off after church, and she was just getting her food tray. Still waking up from her grogginess. She ate a bit, but made her stay in bed for a bit before I helped get her dressed to go home. I signed all the discharge papers before Curt and kids left then. So all I had to do was get her dressed and we were free!
Got to the bathroom and got her dressed and I saw the color drain from her face and thought oh no. Yep, she got sick. :( I asked her if she wanted to stay a bit longer and she said no I want to go home now. I said ok, do NOT tell the nurse you just got sick ok? I know it's lying, but it's from all the morphine they gave you and then eating and getting up. I am sure you won't get sick again, ok? She said ok, let me push the button to call nurse to go home.
Got home and she was in and out the rest of the day.
I fell asleep on the floor and was in and out for a few hours.
The Farmer Family ordered Pizza Hut for us because she knows me too well. The Treadway family came over and brought some balloons and visited for a bit that evening then too.
Now to today, Monday... Was out of it and didn't sleep so well. Skylar made it til about 5am and asked for some pain pills and since then, she's been asking at every 4 hours to get more. She said it hurts where the pins are. She was up a bit but down too.
Had to go get Thads new lenses... Bifocals... To say it went awesome would be a lie. I'm not seeing results, infact seeing it worse. But it is only the first few hours.. It can change. Praying this dude doesn't need surgery as well... But God has it all under control and I give it to Him.
Curt is traveling with his boss, so he is gone. Let the kiddos watch a movie and by the time it started Thad was doing better with them. Will see how tomorrow goes. It is a huge adjustment. It's VERY obvious he has them too! I won't lie, I bribed him to wear them. I said if you wear them I will let you watch a movie tonight. He kept them on. He asked if he could pick one out, but I said let's let Skylar pick it out tonight ok? We may be watching another one tomorrow night.... ;)
I was completely out of it today. I got one load of laundry done and my house. Oy, my house. I know, house isn't important, but it's a mess. Everywhere. Not just one room, but all rooms.
Satan is def attacking me, and my family.
We were praying and asking God how much He wants us to give, we have trust and faith in Him because we don't have hardly any extra money as is, and now, with that insurance bill from Ella, we know one is coming for XJ's visit as well... Then with this ER trip that turned into being admitted which turned into surgery... I'm feeling completely, I don't want to say overwhelmed because I don't. I feel out of it and tired. But yet I'm fully trusting God and letting Him comfort me. I've done enough crying tonight to last me awhile! haha
I can truly feel God and His presence. I know without a doubt He is here. At times like this, I know He is giving me WAAAAY more than I can handle... on my own that is. But with Him, wow. With Him, ANYTHING and everything is possible! I always dislike it when people say He won't give you more than you can handle, its a LIE. Of course He is going to give you more than you can handle! HELLO?!?! I have SIX kids, 2 whom are special needs, all whom I homeschool! And now this on top of it! I'm just glad I know He is there, and not only there, He is loving, He is present, He is faithful, He is just, He is my comforter, He is my rock, He is our provider... I could go on and on. Times when it gets tough, you just need to let Him comfort you. You need to lay back and rest in His arms. His HUGE strong arms, but yet gentle arms.
Love this song by Rend Collective.. it's a newer one...
My Lighthouse
In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures You won't walk out
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea
In the silence, You won't let go
In my questions, Your truth will hold
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea
My Lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness, I will follow You
My Lighthouse, my Lighthouse
I will trust the promise,
You will carry me safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore
I won't fear what tomorrow brings
With each morning I'll rise and sing
My God's love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea
Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms
He won't let go. He is the peace in my troubled sea.
His love will lead us through.
I will trust the promise.
I'm not complaining, just catching up, trying to write what's on my heart. It may be tired and weak, but I know that God is here and faithful! There are others who are going through so much more than what I am, I have no reason to complain.
This is my season right now. God has placed me here at this moment for a reason. I don't know why, and I may never fully understand. I may never understand why the bad things happen to us or my kids, but I do know that i can fully trust Him to provide, protect, love, and comfort me.
Someone asked me if I could change anything about my life right now, what would it be. I think they wanted a different answer, but I gave them this:
I wouldn't change anything. Yes, we may have some months where it's paycheck to paycheck, or there are trials and hurts that i don't want to see happen. But I know that God has me here right at this moment for a reason and I will trust Him and in Him with my life and everything. So I don't want to change anything about my life or my season right now. He has me here for a reason and no matter what comes my way, I trust in Him.
Wow!
It's been a while since I"ve blogged... Crazy fun times around here! :)
We had a BIG EVENT for our church Friday night. It was awesome!!! All about where we are and what we need to finance our new church building we are building! We were to take a card and pray about a number and donate for the building fund. It was a FANTASTIC awesome night to say the least!!!
Curt and I have been praying about a number that God wants us to give. We both feel a number, we can't afford. haha... We really can't afford anything because we still have 2 adoption credit card bills we are paying off. God has blessed us and given us what we need each month. But we want to give, and adding it up and looking at our budget and writing it all out, it's not there. Nothing is there! But that's the way it was with adoption! We took that step of faith!
So that was Friday... Saturday morning went to kettle bell class and I died... I honestly haven't worked out for a week and half. I just couldn't. I wasn't sleeping at nights, and during the afternoon when kids were in "quiet time", I had no energy to even think about working out, or was so busy catching up with things. Got home and then we got the mail. Surprise! A bill. For Ella. For when we went and her new CI mapped and turned on. We both are like, eh, but ok, we are ok, this is fine....
Saturday afternoon, I got dinner in the oven (Oh, I should mention that I decided after much prayer to do a fast for 2 days and then slowly add certain foods back, so I'm still drinking water at this point... no breakfast, no food in my stomach all day, nothing.)... sat on the couch and Skylar came in screaming and crying. I got her calmed down, but before that she said she broke her arm. I held her arm and took one look and my stomach dropped. There was heat radiating from her wrist and it just looked ugly. Bad.... Very bad.... Curt woke up from his nap to her crying and was a little bit disoriented... He said calm down Skylar, it's not broken... I looked at him and just knew it was. I mouthed, it's bad, its broken. She started crying again, and then Curt got a good look at her wrist and said, oh yeah, she needs to go in. I said, ok, I'll take her, your dinner will be done at 5:20. I had Kotah grab my bed pillow and my shoes and off we went. Thankfully Civista (I know, it's called something else now, but I still call it Civista! ;)) was quick this time! We waited a little bit, but went right to a room in the ER and got X-rays pretty quickly. The first nurse in ER was ok, but the second one was awesome! Then the ER doc said she was calling the ortho doc to come in. He came in and the first words out of his mouth were, I'm sorry, I was pumping gas when I got the call and I spilled some gas on me, so I'm very sorry for smelling like gas. Then he said, honestly I don't remember everything he said, but to sum it up, we can do surgery, but can't do it tonight, because it isn't an emergency surgery, I can't call a team in at 11 at night... I would snap her wrist into place, and then put a pin in there to hold it. Put a cast on it for 4 weeks and then take the pin out. Taking pins out is easy and am told that most people prefer to have a pin out than stitches or staples. We do it right in the office. OR I could inject a numbing gel and then pop it back into place and put it in a splint. But there is a 20% chance that it could pop back out of place, and I would have to do surgery to re-break it and then put the pins in. So I said I need to call my hubs and he said absolutely.. He left the room and I called Curt. We both thought and felt at peace to do the surgery. But that meant being admitted and doing it first thing in the morning. He came back in and told him we will do surgery. He looked very relieved. He said I don't know if I should say this or not, but I'm very uneasy about popping it back into place while they are awake. I always go home wondering if I did the right thing, and how much they will remember, how bad did it hurt them... I said well, it just shows you really care for you patients and I really appreciate your honesty. He left and another nurse came in to give her an iv... Thankfully she had a vein that was showing and got it in one poke and didn't have to dig around. Her ER nurse stayed and he kept talking to her and showing her his scars from broken bones, even where he broke his wrist too. I prayed with her during it and she was great! She cried and shed a few tears, but it didn't last long at all! ER nurse wheeled her up to her room and gave her a sucker. She was pretty excited about that! She was hungry!!!! ;) The nurses up there that night were awesome as well! They kept saying how great she's doing and everything! Oh, after the ortho doc left, the ER nurse and another one came in a put her wrist in a splint. After that she was feeling a little more comfy. They also gave her some Motrin. Curt got a friend to stay with the kids so he could come give us a few things and some supper for Skylar. He also brought 2 bananas, and I ate one. I broke my fast, I needed some food. ;)
She was in some more pain so they gave her the good tylenol with codeine in it. She slept from 11 to 4 when they came in to get vitals. They also got her at 7:40 for surgery and was in OR by 8 am. The anesthesiologist was very nice and awesome too! He told her he broke his face by riding his bike, crashed! Skylar looked over at me and said, OUCH mom. He came out after she was out and said she did fantastic! She didn't flip out in OR, she was very calm and cool. The Ortho Doc said she was very heroic. He's never seen a kid so cool and calm. I said many people were and are praying for her, and she is pretty tough and brave! He popped her wrist back into place and put 2 pins in there to help it. She has a white cast with a cut on the top and bottom. He does that to help with swelling. He always did it and then no one complained of swelling so he stopped, up til a week ago when he had a boy that swelled and he had to re-do it all. So... he decided to do it again. Then there is a white ACE bandage over it all.
Back up to her room then for a bit more recovery. Done in the recovery room she had I think 3 doses of morphine. She was extra groggy and doesn't remember it. The one thing she said to me once she saw me walk into the room, she said, you were right mom, I didn't feel a thing! I said yep, I glad you didn't! Then she was out again! All the OR nurses were awesome as well! They kept saying how awesome and brave and cute and adorable she is.
Curt and the kids stopped off after church, and she was just getting her food tray. Still waking up from her grogginess. She ate a bit, but made her stay in bed for a bit before I helped get her dressed to go home. I signed all the discharge papers before Curt and kids left then. So all I had to do was get her dressed and we were free!
Got to the bathroom and got her dressed and I saw the color drain from her face and thought oh no. Yep, she got sick. :( I asked her if she wanted to stay a bit longer and she said no I want to go home now. I said ok, do NOT tell the nurse you just got sick ok? I know it's lying, but it's from all the morphine they gave you and then eating and getting up. I am sure you won't get sick again, ok? She said ok, let me push the button to call nurse to go home.
Got home and she was in and out the rest of the day.
I fell asleep on the floor and was in and out for a few hours.
The Farmer Family ordered Pizza Hut for us because she knows me too well. The Treadway family came over and brought some balloons and visited for a bit that evening then too.
Now to today, Monday... Was out of it and didn't sleep so well. Skylar made it til about 5am and asked for some pain pills and since then, she's been asking at every 4 hours to get more. She said it hurts where the pins are. She was up a bit but down too.
Had to go get Thads new lenses... Bifocals... To say it went awesome would be a lie. I'm not seeing results, infact seeing it worse. But it is only the first few hours.. It can change. Praying this dude doesn't need surgery as well... But God has it all under control and I give it to Him.
Curt is traveling with his boss, so he is gone. Let the kiddos watch a movie and by the time it started Thad was doing better with them. Will see how tomorrow goes. It is a huge adjustment. It's VERY obvious he has them too! I won't lie, I bribed him to wear them. I said if you wear them I will let you watch a movie tonight. He kept them on. He asked if he could pick one out, but I said let's let Skylar pick it out tonight ok? We may be watching another one tomorrow night.... ;)
I was completely out of it today. I got one load of laundry done and my house. Oy, my house. I know, house isn't important, but it's a mess. Everywhere. Not just one room, but all rooms.
Satan is def attacking me, and my family.
We were praying and asking God how much He wants us to give, we have trust and faith in Him because we don't have hardly any extra money as is, and now, with that insurance bill from Ella, we know one is coming for XJ's visit as well... Then with this ER trip that turned into being admitted which turned into surgery... I'm feeling completely, I don't want to say overwhelmed because I don't. I feel out of it and tired. But yet I'm fully trusting God and letting Him comfort me. I've done enough crying tonight to last me awhile! haha
I can truly feel God and His presence. I know without a doubt He is here. At times like this, I know He is giving me WAAAAY more than I can handle... on my own that is. But with Him, wow. With Him, ANYTHING and everything is possible! I always dislike it when people say He won't give you more than you can handle, its a LIE. Of course He is going to give you more than you can handle! HELLO?!?! I have SIX kids, 2 whom are special needs, all whom I homeschool! And now this on top of it! I'm just glad I know He is there, and not only there, He is loving, He is present, He is faithful, He is just, He is my comforter, He is my rock, He is our provider... I could go on and on. Times when it gets tough, you just need to let Him comfort you. You need to lay back and rest in His arms. His HUGE strong arms, but yet gentle arms.
Love this song by Rend Collective.. it's a newer one...
My Lighthouse
In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures You won't walk out
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea
In the silence, You won't let go
In my questions, Your truth will hold
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea
My Lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness, I will follow You
My Lighthouse, my Lighthouse
I will trust the promise,
You will carry me safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore
I won't fear what tomorrow brings
With each morning I'll rise and sing
My God's love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea
Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms
He won't let go. He is the peace in my troubled sea.
His love will lead us through.
I will trust the promise.
I'm not complaining, just catching up, trying to write what's on my heart. It may be tired and weak, but I know that God is here and faithful! There are others who are going through so much more than what I am, I have no reason to complain.
This is my season right now. God has placed me here at this moment for a reason. I don't know why, and I may never fully understand. I may never understand why the bad things happen to us or my kids, but I do know that i can fully trust Him to provide, protect, love, and comfort me.
Someone asked me if I could change anything about my life right now, what would it be. I think they wanted a different answer, but I gave them this:
I wouldn't change anything. Yes, we may have some months where it's paycheck to paycheck, or there are trials and hurts that i don't want to see happen. But I know that God has me here right at this moment for a reason and I will trust Him and in Him with my life and everything. So I don't want to change anything about my life or my season right now. He has me here for a reason and no matter what comes my way, I trust in Him.
Comments