Ok, too tied to think if its effecting or affecting... And yes, frankly too lazy to look it up! ;)
Today we went to church, and then had to go get some paint to paint a "new" room for Gavin as a surprise for him when he gets home!!! :) My mom is out here for the week and she said ok, where do you want to go to eat? Thad and Skylar shout out Chick-fil-A!!! We said they are closed, it's Sunday remember? To which they replied oh yeah.
So mom was asking what else there is??? Then she said oh do you have a Panera? So I drove to the LaPlata one bc it's nicer and smaller and not as busy... We had thought about running to JoAnn Fabrics to get something but decided we didn't need to go out there yet, so all the more reason to stay in LaPlata! ;)
Trying to ask the kids what they want while 3 of them have to "pee REALLY bad!!!" So trying to get them to decide was impossible... Finally got it and I took the 3 to the bathroom. As soon as I entered I heard a screaming/crying very unhappy baby... I got one in and then waited for the mom and baby to exit stale so another could go in. My kids were being patient too.. Thankfully... ;)
She exited and saw me standing with my two waiting and kept saying I'm so sorry. I said its fine, no worries at all!
She said a few other things and kept apologizing to which I said its no big deal. Trying to smile the whole time bc she's clearly upset, well maybe upset isn't the right word? Frazzled?
She was at the sink and I had one out standing with me and she said apologizing again and I said its ok! I have 6 kids, I'm a mom, I've had a newborn before, I know what it's like. She looked at me and said you have 6? She then looked at Ella and XJ and asked of they were mine to which I relied yes ma'am, we adopted them from China.
Let me just say that as soon as she walked out of the stale with this crying baby I knew I needed to talk to her.
I saw a rosary with a crucifix on it on her wrist. She then said she had 5 of her own and the one screaming baby boy was a foster child. They wanted to adopt but a few reasons didn't allow them too so they thought ok, foster to adopt. They felt this was Gods plan for them.
I asked her what her name was, she told me. I said Carolyn, I'm praying for you. I'll be praying you have a blessed day.
She walked out and then came back in with a bottle she needed to clean and refill... She said oh, I'm in your way again, I said no you aren't. Take your time and get your son his bottle, we are fine.
She walked out then and I felt this tap on my shoulder... I said yes God? He said you have some cash, buy this family a gift card. I said uh, ok.
So I met my mom and Skylar and we found a place in the back to eat and I noticed this lady her foster son and daughter were sitting back there.
We got our food and started eating after we prayed... I felt her watching me and could see it from the corner of my eye but wasn't bothered by it.
I stood up to go buy the gift card so incase she left before us I could give it to her...
After a while her daughter came over and said excuse me miss? My mom was wondering if after you are done with your lunch if you could come talk to her? I said sure, give me a minute. So I finished my sandwich and walked over to her table and sat down.
I laid the gift card on the table and she looked up at me and stated to say you don't, to which I raised my hand and said, don't. I know I didn't need to but felt called to, it's not much, but it should either get your whole family a free meal or super cheap. ;) I figured in my head how much ours was and added some extra bc we were missing some in our family! ;) I said if you are like my family you don't get to eat out much bc it's expensive! She shook her head yes and then said thank you.
Then she sat there and said what I have to say is so hard and I don't think I can say what I need to without crying. I, sitting there like uh oh, what did I do?! ;)
Then she said I've been trying to explain to my daughter a little about you and watching your family. You have a beautiful family. I just wanted you to know that you saved this lil boys life. I just looked at her like what?
She then said she had planned on going home right after lunch and emailing the social worker and telling them they needed to come get this lil boy, but after talking to me briefly in the bathroom, watching me with my kids, watching me sign to them and with them, she knew that she couldn't do that. She realized that these thoughts aren't her. She doesn't think like that. She doesn't care what defects a child has. She was thinking she can't handle his crying, she told me in bathroom that's all he does. Cries. She said something but I didn't hear it, but he is deaf in one ear and then his foot started shaking, she said see,? I don't know everything wrong with him and was thinking if they do allow him to be adopted by us would I want him before I know everything that's wrongs with him?
She doesn't know what the future holds for him, but she does know now that bc of seeing me and talking to me that she will keep him and pray for the next step instead of just doing it without asking God what His plan is.
I'm not writing this to say oh look what I did. I just wanted to share and felt led to share this. I was blown away by it all. I actually didn't have as much money as I thought and so I asked mom for a few bucks and would pay her when I got home bc I knew I had some cash at home. She looked at me and said sure.. I said feeling led to buy her a gift card I'll explain in the car... So she gave me a few extra bucks. :) (thanks momma) Then after I was done talking to her I went over to my family and I ate my few bites of soup. It was hard to eat bc I was processing it all, or trying to.
People tell you you may have impacted their life, or want to follow your example or your lead, but I've never EVER had someone tell me that I saved their sons life by that little bit of conversation in bathroom and my actions and love towards my kids.
Just bc a child has a disability doesn't mean you can't love them, teach them or raise them. Infact they teach you, they love you!
I got in the van and just told mom everything that happened and was pretty much in tears. My mom was just about in tears.
All of this to say, are you living a life that is a good example to others? That they truly see the love of Jesus shining through you, so much that they notice it?
Now I've got days, days where Jesus' light doesn't shine through much bc of the way my day has gone or is going. I'm not perfect and I don't want to be.
I didn't feel at peace about going on the missions trip. I felt bad bc the kids wanted me to go, but when I said I prayed and just didn't feel that God was calling me to go this time, they both said oh, ok!! Maybe next year :)
I know why. God had a plan and I needed I be home.
Just think about your actions and words. They really do have more power than you may think they do.
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