Sunday, February 13, 2011

Seriously!

Wow, what a week! There aren't too many times when I say, wow, I am soooo glad that the week is over! But I sure am this week!!! Seriously!!!!

Curt was gone in GA for a super fun filled DM Conference! The only fun stuff that he got to do was see Soul Surfer and Courageous! Super jealous! Infact, I seriously thought about going down there just so I could see them too!! heehee ;)

But it was really one thing after another. More with the kids and then is was a really busy week!

Sunday, we went to church, I taught the lil mini coopers, then we came home and have friends over for some lunch, which was meatball subs. But our friends said they were more like meat boulders! They were soo big! I seriously only got 3 meatballs on each sub! I guess I made them into meat boulders instead of meatballs? ;) Then they left, we got a few things around and went to Upper Room at church! Boy was it an AWESOME service!!! A few got baptized, and then communion! It doesn't get much better than that! THEN we went over to a friends house to finish watching the Super Bowl. I had to go home and change my pants before it was over b/c a certain someone leaked through, pretty bad! I didn't think, but at church Thad had drank his water bottle, completely! Then by the time we got to our friends house, he was out! So I didn't bother changing him, then he woke up and I picked him and held him and he went right back to sleep.... Then, well, ya know, i got wet from him! So, I went home and then went back to our friends house, the game was over, we grabbed our kids and headed out. Curt in his car and me and the kiddos in the van. We went to spend the nite in Annapolis since he had an early flight out. The kids and I went to Trader Joes and then the mall. We hadn't really done anything "special" with them, so I wanted to do SOMETHING, anything!!!!!!!! Then we came home, I had to bake the cakes. I started decorating the cake Monday nite and finished it Tuesday. I went to drop the cake off on Tuesday, then we just relaxed a bit the rest of the day.

The kids were being really naughty, just talking back and not listening. I was like seriously?

Wednesday we went to church, I started the day off with a REALLY bad head-ache... Then I had to help in the toddler room since it was the Garage's turn to help. Barely made it through the nite, got them home and put them to bed right away. I had to stay up and make cupcakes for SPEAR the next day... SO I got them made and thought, I'll do the frosting in the am.

Thursday morning, I still had a head-ache and was starting to feel really lousy. My tummy was hurting too. So again, barely made it through SPEAR, came home, put the kids down for a nap, and I CRASHED, I was out of it!

Friday was just not good either. I had a meeting to go too, and almost didn't make it! Curt made it home right about 6, but he was not feeling good either! :/ EVERYONE at the DM Conference came down with some type of tummy thing and cough, which he had on Friday. He said he barely made it home. So with him being out of it, me still not feeling 100% better, I got the kids to bed and crashed on the couch. he was on one and I was on the other, we talked for a bit and we both fell asleep! Then I woke up Sat, still not 100% better, but doing a bit better. I hadn't been able to eat much of anything other than a pear here and there since Wednesday! I think from Wed-Sun morning, I had a total of 3 pears, and lots of water... This afternoon was the FIRST I was able to eat anything! I wolfed down a bowl of cheesy, creamy, bacon, potato soup... Then I ate supper... But I still don't feel so grand. I am tired, I should go to bed, but wanted to blog about my week... Ok, kinda complain about my week! I guess not really complain, but put it down in words... ;)

Another thing that happened Wednesday... My oven light went out, I was like, seriously! So, I looked at the time and thought, ok, my dad won't be on lunch, he should be down, I'll call him. So I go and grab the phone and start to dial 260-483-88 and then I realized what I was doing. I totally lost it! That is the first time that I went to start calling my dad's work! I didn't even do that after he lost his job... But it's the first thing that comes to my mind when a light blows out! If I am honest, I know what kind of light to get, but it was my thing to do with my dad. I would call him just so we could chit chat for a few minutes. I am pretty sure he knew I knew what kind of light I needed to get. I was WAY smarter than those girls he worked with!! hahaha!! (sorry if you are reading this!!! ;O)) But I just liked to call and talk to him.

I talked to my mom today. She hasn't had the best week either, or my brother. But after my mom talked to my brother, he was like mom, you know what the 9th is? It's been 15 months since dad died. I said, oh mom, you know what, Wednesday was the 9th, wasn't it? So I told her about me attempting to call dad. I've talked to her all week, but just haven't said anything...

Have I mentioned before just how much grief can suck? It always comes when you least expect it. I can't even describe what I am feeling or going through.

I am borrowing a book from Angela and Pastor called Heaven is for Real. They have talked about it so much. Part of me was like, I don't want to read it. I have no desire to read it. I guess deep down, I know it would make me cry. Not that I don't want to cry, but I just didn't want to read it. (I sure hope I don't tear-stain it up, or I'm totally buying them a new one!!! heehee) She even flat out told me, she said, I think you are really going to like it, but I am sure there will be some tears shed. She did it in a really nice and loving way, she wasn't being rude or mean when she said that either....

I also want to read Heaven by Randy Alcorn. Maybe, the more I think about it, I don't really want to admit he is gone. That it's all just a really bad dream and I will wake up? Or that he's at work, that's why I can't talk to him. I dunno... What stage of grief is this? Have I been through all the stages yet? ;)

No, probably not, and I don't see myself going through them all anytime soon. Or if I do, I will go through them all over again!

So, this is why I am sooooooooooooo glad that last week is done! I praised God everyday, but honestly, it was tough! I wanted to give in, let the devil win and say, I am done. I am done. But you know what? I am not done. I am going to keep praising Him, I am not done! I am not giving up! I will keep telling my kids to stop disobeying, I will NOT let them get away with talking back and yelling and fighting... They are days that will be hard, but you know what, I can do ANYTHING, because Christ gives me the strength! And as long as I KEEP my eyes on Him, He will get me through!

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