Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sunday Nite Ponderings

What a day, but it's been a good one. Don't get me wrong it was a sad day too.

I got there this morning and got stopped at the front desk, just my luck, I am good at getting stopped there! ;o) So after 10 minutes of standing there and then calling my mom in FRONT of the lady explaining WHY I wasn't up there. Grr... This swine flu thing... Oh well, right?

Got up to the room and gave the stuff to mom so she could shower. She got in the shower and felt much better. Had some visitors off and on all today.

Kris came after lunch and after a couple of hours, dad told mom he wanted Kris and I over. So we sat there for the longest time and held dad's hand. Dad would squeeze our hands. It was so hard to sit there, but he was not in any pain! Mom would bend over and tell him it's ok Herm, you've fought so hard, you can just go to sleep. Mom then told him that Curt and Amy were on their way with the grandkids to tell him they love him and good-bye. She also told him that Aunt Martha and Matt were on their way as well. She asked him if he wanted her to call anyone else. She asked if he wanted Barry and he said yes. Then he said, I will try to hang on that long.

So glad Aunt Martha and Matt came as well!

One time dad woke up and mom leaned over to talk to him and he said I'm fighting. Mom said, I know you are fighting. Honey you can just give in, you've fought so hard... It's ok Herm.

Dad is still hanging on, he is fighting though, he always has.

I leaned over and kissed him and said dad, I love you. You have fought so hard and I am so proud to call you my dad. You are so tired dad, just go to sleep, it's ok. We will all be ok, we will miss you, I love you dad.

It's been a good day. It's been hard, but it's been good. It's so hard to see my mom go through all this! I still feel at peace, but I'm sad. I feel like I want to go to sleep, but yet I want to stay awake.

When we left tonite, dad's skin was cold/warm and clammy. He is not eating anything. He had 2 bites of orange jello this afternoon, and MAYBE 2 or 3 bites of egg this morning. He hasn't been up to go to the bathroom since 5am. Then tonite, he couldn't even really open his mouth when mom tried to take a small sponge to wet his mouth. He had been taking small sips of water all day, but then tonite, he didn't even want that. He can't open his mouth to sip from a straw.

He did respond to mom when she asked if he knew who was there and he said, I saw the mask. ;o) Bob and Jaime came over to visit them.

Hard to leave tonite, part of me wanted to stay and the other part wanted to come back here. I want to be there for mom. She is such a strong women! She's like super mom! (I even offered her my nursing cover to use as a cap, she didn't want that! LOL)

Mom decided not to call Hospice, we don't think a move would be good for dad, and not to be morbid or anything, but I don't think it will be much longer. I just pray he will go in his sleep, and not be in any pain. He hasn't been and pray it stays that way.

Thank you all for you support, love and prayers. We truly feel surrounded by the Holy Spirit! And as hard as this is, and sad, we know that God is with us and dad. We know he is going to a better place. I am jealous that he will get to play with my baby before I do up there! And Amy's too! But he will not be sick or in pain...

Dad is going really fast, I mean SUPER fast. Just talking with Amy and remembered that the day nurse said that he was going fast and it was a definite change from yesterday. We've talked to some other people and even some that came to visit have said the same thing. He was not really responding. I went over to kiss him and tell him good-nite and I love you and he barely opened his eyes. He didn't really respond to mom either, and he had been just 2 hours before...

I have no idea if any of this made sense and too tired to think clearly. ;o)

1 comment:

The Harrington Family said...

Praying for you are an inspiration. So thankful you are at peace. Praying he will not be in pain. Wish I could hug you! You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight.