Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm back.....

I am trying to decide if I should start out by saying why I haven't been blogging FOREVER, or if I should just pick up to what is going on now. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this is a blog, a journal more for me and if anyone wants to read, more power to you! September was NOT a good month for me! But then again, I guess it was... Some things happened at the church and was asked to step down from my position as Creek Kids teacher. Didn't see it coming and was VERY upset and mad and angry and confused as to why? I am still not sure why, but I know that God is in control and He has a plan! Just may not know it yet! Anyways... Two weeks before I got this blow of news, we found out we were/are expecting our 4th baby!!! After getting the news with needing to step down, I was so confused and hurt by it all. I couldn't eat or sleep. It was just enough most days to get the kids fed and play with them a little, but not much of anything else! I was soooo afraid I was going to lose the baby because of not eating or sleeping and all the stress! I just did NOT want to go through that again! Part of me wanted to crawl in a hole and just stay there. But God wouldn't let me! And my parents and Curt's parents called me EVERYDAY to make sure I was ok! (They didn't know about me being prego) I was doing my devos everyday and trying to stay in His Word so I wouldn't go into that hole, but I wanted to be left alone. I somehow got over it all, well, honestly maybe not fully yet. I guess sometimes I think about it and wonder why it had to happen, but then I am reminded of God's Grace and His promise! We decided to stop going to that church, it was to hard for me. Just the sermon series and yeah, anyways... I miss helping out, I miss making the Breakfast Bar stuff, I miss the people! I have no desire to help out at any church right now. I guess I am afraid I am going to get hurt again... I know, I need to let it go, but just am not ready for that! Plus, being 26 weeks prego, just gonna sit back and listen and let someone else do all the work. (Is that bad of me to say?) Through all this I've gotten a lot closer to some girls, they are my lifesavers!!! Don't know what I would've done if you weren't there for me as well!! Also during this time, we thought we would be moving to Pittsburgh, PA. Talk about stress in my life! I couldn't handle the not knowing of EVERYTHING!!!!! Of course, we didn't move. It would've been nice, I must admit. Curt wouldn't have been gone on a lot of over nite stays! But that isn't where God wants us right now. It would've been SOOOOO easy to just say forget it all, and just pick up and leave, but that's not the case. I was WISHING and HOPING that we could've moved, just so I didn't have to face anybody or deal with it all. But that wouldn't have fixed the problem. I finally realized that that is not where God wants us, and I was ok with that fact. It took a little while, but I got over it! :o) I got even closer to God during this whole ordeal. Don't get me wrong, I was close to God, but when you go through something like that, you get even closer. You rely on Him more to get you through. Why do we go to Him when times are tough, but don't go to Him when times are good? I remember to thank Him everyday! For being alive and being able to move (not as well anymore since I am HUGE, but still, I can move!), for my kids, being able to be a stay at home mom, even when times are tough... That Curt has his job..... So yeah.... Moving right along... We went home to IN for Thanksgiving and told/showed everyone that we were expecting baby #4!!!! They were shocked and happy at the same time! Then we went back the day after Christmas. Now onto the new year... If you have read Curt's blog, you will know some of what is going on as well. Family had to let some people go and that meant they had to re-align the districts. So, Curt lost 7 stores, but he gained 10!!!!! So he now has 19 stores!!! Guess where those 10 are? CO!!!!!!!!!! He will get to fly there, which is nice seeings how it is a 9 hour trip. Ok, so he could make it in 7!!!!! He just needs to watch out for the airplanes! :O) (sorry hon) And of course, these 10 stores are the most under-performing stores in the company. Curt is known for taking stores and being able to turn them around. That's why we moved to MI, so he could be a store manager and turn that store around, and he did. Then they gave him the DM position and he turned this district around! He has (well, now that they moved everything, he doesn't have them anymore!!! :O( ) 2 stores that are in the top 5 in the company! (yes, I am bragging, but I am allowed too, he's my hubby!) So, he has some fixing to do with these new stores, but that's why the big wigs gave it to him, they KNOW he can turn them around! As of RIGHT now, we are NOT moving, but that could change, we don't know! Now I am 27 weeks prego! I have to go for another ultrasound on the 23rd to make sure everything is ok. They told me at my 17 week one that I had placenta previa, (SP?), so they are just checking to make sure it is either ok, or not. I am not worried about it, there is nothing I can do. Except put it in God's Hands, which I have. Dakotah is in 1st grade and LOVING it! She is ahead on book work for the year, which is what I wanted. This baby is due May 15th and want her to be pretty much done with all school work by the end of April. (the way she is going, we may be done by the end of March!) Just do little things here and there, like some electives maybe. Or start working on 2nd grade stuff, but slowly... ;o) Gavin is loving dressing up as somebody! One day it is Bob the Builder, or TMNT, or Batman, or Spiderman..... Skylar LOVES to dress up too! My parents got her a Minnie Mouse dress, and she LOVES it!!! Or she will find Wonder Women! That one is sooo funny on her!!!! She tries to act like her, let's just say the one day she hit her head about 5 times in an hour from her just running around and 'Flying"... Baby #4 is pretty active as soon as I sit and try to relax or go to sleep. But that's what all the other ones did too! The kids are SO sure it is a boy. I told God, you know it's in your hands! ;o) I am pretty sure they won't care if it is another girl, but Gavin REALLY wants a brother! As Kotah says, so there will be 3 boys and 3 girls! Gotta make things fair! So, I guess that sums it up for now. I have a laptop that either hates me, or hates Iowa, or both! I took it with me to IN to have a friend of my parents look at it. The whole time he had it, which was a month, NOTHING happened! This thing is weird, it will either turn off and on about 20 times, then stay on, or if I am typing, it won't type the letters that I am typing, it will do symbols! Anyways... I hope to keep up here more, so much going on, the kids are saying and doing crazy things.... ;o)

5 comments:

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

Mandy, I had to delete my last comment because I spelled some words wrong...where is the spell check on this baby. Anyway, I am sorry to hear about your troubles...come join the mormons, we won't demote you..he.he. I know how hard it can be sometimes. I know that we have to really turn our lives over to Him to really make it through! I am excited for your new little one. I pray that everything will turn out good...love ya. Amy

Lori Eilers said...

Hang in there girl! You know I'm praying for you and believe in you! God has more love and teaching for you to share with kids in the future. It's okay to take some time to heal and be fed by your pastor. We can't give out what we don't have! Love and miss y'all!!

Jen Mumm said...

Hi'ya Mandy~ I am sorry that my family has been so sick this month. We need to get together and let our kids play and we can put our feet up (ha, ha!!). Please know that you are a valued friend, a wonderful woman, and an amazing mother. I had read something about love last night and I realized that although my husband and I have been through a lot through the years-I can't say that I would trade it now. There was something about the hard times that cemented what we have now. I think it is similar with other things in life-we go through things that rip our hearts out. God helps us through...he puts people in our paths and gives us comfort in those dark places. But something about the experience makes us stronger. I know that probably sounds so trite-but I remember my own dark places and I think it makes me so thankful for the good things. You are truly a beautiful & gracious woman and I hope you have a good night!

Jena said...

Glad to see you back! I have to agree with Jen; "you are a valued friend, an wonderful woman, and an amazing mother.." I feel like I have learned SO much from just observing you! Thanks for all the joy you've brought to my life :D